Subhajit

7.5 years in Mumbai. 6.5 years at blog. 5.5 at work. And the sum of all right and wrong choices made in life stands at 28.5. While I want the span of the first three to go further, I want the last one to shrink. But life only moves in one direction: 'forward'. There is no 'pause' button to hold back and the 'stop' button is not under our control. The 'play' button is on auto-mode since birth. So all these tells us that there is no break, until the final one. When I came to Mumbai, my life was wandering in many directions. The priorities were slightly different. Today, there are still directions and priorities, but the definition of terms itself has changed. The perspective of looking at life has taken many turns, while it has matured, it has become more restrictive as well. I seek answers, for I believe that asking right questions are so important. Else, we should not be repentant about the outcomes. I remained silent for the majority part of my...

What it feels to be told that a part of your home is disputed, is under somebody else’s control. It feels awkward, it upsets you and you will surely feel like it taking it back. Then you are told about so many clauses to get your hold on that part that you get confused, you get tired. Then the most painful part: people residing in that part of your home start speaking in a different tone, start believing in theories that you never heard. They become more tolerant to your neighbors than you, they celebrate the success of your neighbors not yours. These things makes you ask yourself: what action can be taken, why they are speaking a different language, what are the areas you are falling short or is it even worth keeping them as a part of your home? Well what I am going to write ahead is about a topic or should I say an issue on which it has been comprehensively written about, spoken about and debated. It’s about a place called Kashmir, at one point of time called as ‘heaven on ear...

It’s been a different life, different few months. Months that has changed quite a few things. People ask me to describe this phase; it gives them sheer pleasure to indulge in such quiz for they know any answer would excite them. Sometimes the no. of questions are infinite if you allow yourself. There has been more than one instances where I have had close acquaintances with few where each of them came with a conclusion written or decided in between. Had my share of luck, love & happiness long way back, for quite a long time. Somewhere I couldn't muster the courage, interest & invest time for something ‘that’ serious after that era was over. I could not seize certain moments, I could not take that one extra step, I could not let go of my inhibitions. But past is past, no looking back, no regrets. But I have lived a lifetime with nostalgia. It is something that moves with me, it’s something I live with. I love it & hate it. All at the same time. Deep inside, there...

Today when I open the newspaper or switch on to a news channel, I do not get surprised by the reporting of the crime that is happening every single day. But what saddens to the core is the quantum and the way of committing them. We are not only degrading as a society, but at the same time we are putting ourselves in the dock where we will be questioned about our morality and our ethics. And we are same country which boasts of culture, ethics and values of 5000 years old. I used to be uncomfortable in my growing years reading about rapes and then I became ashamed of such cases. Today, I am simply tired with repeated anguish. Such incidents started questioning the law and order that we have in place, it questioned the judiciary system we have but more than anything else, it questioned my belief in my fellow countrymen.  The next thing that we discuss is the self-protection tools for women. They should carry chilly powder, a knife, a gun, get trained in Karate and what not. And the...

10 Days: I remember myself teasing my younger brother in the years of growing up. He never liked it, infact hated it. But I used to feel so great when he was irritated. As we grew up and stopped fighting over the cake Mom makes at home, I realize that I shared the closest bond during the 'teasing phase'. Today, when I sit with him to watch Bigg Boss to de-stress over watching nonsense by the in-mates in the show, I realize my fights with him were far more better :P I don't pull his cheek anymore, instead his leg. Sometimes he likes it, sometimes he does not. But with 10 more days to go, I believe I might miss all those days, fights and moments even more. And yes, who is going to bat first post school hours was a life-altering decision at one point. 9 Days: When I used to visit my maternal grandparents during my school holidays, I used to be quite ecstatic about it. Not just because I loved the city they used to stay, the locales or the big buildings there, but prim...

Maa Maa kehti thi ki jab bhi dar lage toh ghar aajana, Baba kehte the ladna apne dar se, kabhi haar na maan na. Mujhe raahat  mili toh sirf Maa ke us aanchal mein, Baar baar chhupta raha, hazaar baar roya bhi wahan. Aur har ek baar sukoon mila mujhe, woh Maa nahi ek alag hi duniya thi. Abhi  bhi sochta hoon, dhoondta bhi hoon, kabhi rona aaye toh sirf yeh soch kar aansoon behte hain, Ki kya Maa itni door hai ya mein khudse. Tum Mujhe faasla pasand nahi tha kabhi, mazboori thi jo usko paal rahi thi, Tum gaye toh aise gaye, mein abhi bhi lad raha hoon un raaston se. Wapas toh nahi la sakta, woh beete hue lamhein, Mod nahi sakta, woh gujre hue pal, Lekin yaad karke hans toh sakta hoon, un haseen lamhon par, tumhare un waadon par, Woh har ek baat par jo hamne saath mein kahi thi. Aur apne aap par. Kab se dhoondh raha khud ko, milta hi nahin hoon, Aisa lagta hai main chhipa nahin, laapata hoon. Ek Packet Ummeed Kabhi kabhi yeh sochke h...

They say marriages are made in heaven! But nobody ever thought where divorces came from! I have seen and been with many girls in my life, each having their individual place in my heart. They all have their unique identities. And I have been transparent enough with each of them about the feelings I share. The best part is they know each other; it has been only possible when you are true to yourself and with the person in front. Life has moved on a lot since my first love. Loved many, few loved me back…. But today I still stand officially single. With no instant plans to get into the marriage-thing. I love being a single; it has got its own benefits and drawbacks as well. Finding love, being in love and marrying are three different things, realized it later, but a good realization. I met different people at different stages of my life. Each came with their priorities, preferences and expectations. They are still there, quite in touch. They have been a part of my life and wil...