Subhajit

There is this person who always told me how she loves my words more than me. She has always maintained it. Never changed her stand. I tried persuading her all throughout. Catherine is one stubborn yet sincere reader of my irrelevant work. But each time she says that she loves my words more than me, I honestly feel jealous of my words. I felt I need to crosscheck with Aditya to find if I deserved some attention just like my words. He also declined to oblige my contribution to my words. I felt disowned. It was almost getting proved that my words were actually better than me. It was obvious on my part to feel restless and not so happy. I felt what should I be doing to be liked by people. It was hard to find a reason. It was equally difficult to find a better alternative to the 'words' either. In Marketing terminology, I almost went on to sell myself. It was of no use. I was falling behind in the race to my own words. My words were going ahead each time I wrote. I decided to...

I am not able to blog. Blog regularly. This used to be "my space". A space where I used to vent, shout & seek peace. I still want to do that. But I am not able to write. My reading habit too, is on a decline. I was doing so many thing when I was busy, now I am not able to do half of it with double the time in my hand. I am not able to meet my evenings, the ones which used to energise me. I am not able to sprint hundred yards to catch my next destination. Are things slow around? Yes they are, they will be. I was ready for this transition, but was not ready for people becoming unknown entities. May be I thought I am getting into a more real world, only to realise artificially has made its way deep into my old place. People have turned into something that I am not able to comprehend. My nights are stretching into oblivion. Are these my complaints? Am I unhappy? Who defines 'unhappiness' index? And what makes us 'happy' in real terms? I try to look at thing...

It feels good to be back here after 3 months. But it feels terrible not to have a specific topic to write. So, I will not force myself to come up with something artificial. And these days, the weather in Mumbai is so beautifully natural that I am trying not to do anything artificial throughout the day ;) It's cold, there are drizzles and there are cold windy evenings. What else one can ask for in a city known for its humidity levels. Last few weeks have been the best when it comes to my sleep, such weather provides quality sleeping and I am just not complaining. I have been doing so many things in last couple of months, both personally and professionally, that I am not able to keep a track of my priorities. But then, who all can I keep happy. So I am just moving from one day to the other keeping myself afloat. Spendings have shot up in recent months without any changes in the salary, that leaves me on the brink of being declared a bankrupt. But I like the idea, I want to be decl...

10 Days: I remember myself teasing my younger brother in the years of growing up. He never liked it, infact hated it. But I used to feel so great when he was irritated. As we grew up and stopped fighting over the cake Mom makes at home, I realize that I shared the closest bond during the 'teasing phase'. Today, when I sit with him to watch Bigg Boss to de-stress over watching nonsense by the in-mates in the show, I realize my fights with him were far more better :P I don't pull his cheek anymore, instead his leg. Sometimes he likes it, sometimes he does not. But with 10 more days to go, I believe I might miss all those days, fights and moments even more. And yes, who is going to bat first post school hours was a life-altering decision at one point. 9 Days: When I used to visit my maternal grandparents during my school holidays, I used to be quite ecstatic about it. Not just because I loved the city they used to stay, the locales or the big buildings there, but prim...

Maa Maa kehti thi ki jab bhi dar lage toh ghar aajana, Baba kehte the ladna apne dar se, kabhi haar na maan na. Mujhe raahat  mili toh sirf Maa ke us aanchal mein, Baar baar chhupta raha, hazaar baar roya bhi wahan. Aur har ek baar sukoon mila mujhe, woh Maa nahi ek alag hi duniya thi. Abhi  bhi sochta hoon, dhoondta bhi hoon, kabhi rona aaye toh sirf yeh soch kar aansoon behte hain, Ki kya Maa itni door hai ya mein khudse. Tum Mujhe faasla pasand nahi tha kabhi, mazboori thi jo usko paal rahi thi, Tum gaye toh aise gaye, mein abhi bhi lad raha hoon un raaston se. Wapas toh nahi la sakta, woh beete hue lamhein, Mod nahi sakta, woh gujre hue pal, Lekin yaad karke hans toh sakta hoon, un haseen lamhon par, tumhare un waadon par, Woh har ek baat par jo hamne saath mein kahi thi. Aur apne aap par. Kab se dhoondh raha khud ko, milta hi nahin hoon, Aisa lagta hai main chhipa nahin, laapata hoon. Ek Packet Ummeed Kabhi kabhi yeh sochke h...

I've found majority of things ever written about love to be so untrue. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinarily wrong thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, because I always believed it’s a start of a journey. I suppose, I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for a day or night! And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It’s called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, who fall in love alone? I am the vict...

Sab ka khushi se faasla ek kadam hai, har ghar mein bas ek hi kamra kam hai... Early teen age is not a good time to take important calls in life. Added to that, a bunch of crazy morons surrounding you with all sorts of inputs. To this mix, you add doting parents. And then a critical phase of studies. In between all these, the ever increasing love for the newly arrived MP3s n video games. With the freedom of getting into college and getting rid of the regular uniforms, the heart was pumping than the required speed. This early teen age you know! Now leave all these. Enters a damsel! Year 1 and 2... Kya kehke gaya tha shayar woh sayana, aag ka dariya doobke jaana... Now what... Nothing, the game's over! They say enter a girl and your life will never be the same again. The guy never believed it, still don't too. But his results for next couple of years supported the argument. Studies were at an all time low, parents were big time upset, neighbors were at their s...

December has been quite a likable month for me as an individual. Birthdays (yes, I do celebrate on two days), Goa trips, Christmas fever and the year-end retrospections. All these constitute to my special liking to this month. The list is long though, will try to put them all here today. The last year and half has been crazy. The work schedule is insanely hectic. Just one trip to home. Little brother has been a part of Mumbai off late. I have become one more year older. Mumbai is still surprising me. New additions in buddies, new CCD mates, new perfumes. No significant addition to my gadget list though. A better maid, a great boss and best of the times in South Bombay. Same room-mate, same health and same relationship status. Seems I have been consistent in certain elements in my life. Still missing 25 th of December, the day I said someone that I like her. This year it completes 12 years of this brave act, out of which I’ll be celebrating my 5 th as a single! I’ll be into my 7 th...

         W ill start with 'Dhobi Ghat' as it earned a first place in the hearts of many who watched it. Feel bad for those still not seen it, go watch it. Good cinema pushing the envelope of contrived movies and taking film-making to another level. Last year gave us 'Udaan', now 'Dhobi Ghat' is a good start to this year. Hope we can see some more film-makers coming in front & more importantly guys backing them up financially. Ronnie has been doing quite well since last few years and came up with few really good ones under 'UTV Spotboys'. Though few others trying their hand as well in this genre giving opportunity to young but talented guys to take up the directorial mantle but overall the scenario is not bright. But with biggies like Aamir coming up strongly with such movies, it only augurs well for an audience like me. Hope next few years will pave way for more content-driven cinema instead of commercial-driven cinema. Simple example, a movie like ...

Was a part of a great training session yesterday. Was interesting coz it was a Sales training. Mindsets do change a great deal when the domains differ! Had to miss a get together of a friend who is getting married next month. I have missed his invitations time & again due to the difference in demographics. And today’s a Sunday, a lovely morning. Sundays have their own memories, it’s gives you a feeling of family time and good delicious lunch with them. And a fun evening with friends. These days it is just a lunch with all attempts to make it delicious and evenings spent in the malls with friends. Anyways, no nostalgias, this blog is anyways full of nostalgia & melancholies. No good movies have come for sometime now, wait is getting longer. Family coming next weekend, so Diwali will be spent as usual with them but this time in Mumbai. One more person expired untimely last night; count is 2 in last one month. All these things make us believe how precious life is, how fortunate we...

It's been 25 years now. The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. For me, it has more effect than facts. My own attitude towards life has changed a lot and is still on a changing cycle. I know being a 25-year-'old' gives me the leeway to call my mistakes as experiences. No matter what I do from now on is going to represent me as well as give me my own identity. Talking of identity, I have not been able to carve one for myself so far. I know it for sure that it's not late, but surely I have to start working towards it right away. My father is someone I always looked up to. And even if I achieve 50% of what he has got in his life, then my life would be worth living for. While I will be working to establish my identity, I will make sure that I am happy and content in what I will be doing. I hope I can keep on writing, atleast for next 50 years (somebody predicted I would be bidding adieu to the world @ 73, so that leaves me with 48 years exactly...

Why couples fight...why they get upset everyday or every alternate day??? Some get upset every 30 minutes as well!!! They go on a date after a fight, may be that helps them to get back to normalcy, atleast they believe so. And they again fight after coming from a date as well. They fight in the college, in the canteen, in front of the cake shop, at night after talking over 4 hours, inside the local train(yes, they still have energy left to start a fight inside Mumbai locals), in front of friends, over chat and in many such weird places and situations that will amuse you, me and everybody. Now let's spend 120 seconds on the reasons for these fights. Sometimes the boyfriend throws the girl's toothbrush...she says that his mother should not comment that she looks fatty on photographs...he says she does not picks his calls in time...she says he does not give her attention while talking to her...he says XYZ is becoming a friend of hers too fast...she says he has got too many gir...

I never thought you would be so indifferent. Though ‘indifferent’ is not suiting your behaviour of last few days, but I can’t be as rude as you. Unless why I, anybody would have called this an ‘inhuman’ and ‘humiliating’ action. I think you have simply gone into another world with some of your presumptions & pre-conceived notions, of which you are not going to come back. But truth is what we both know & it’s going to knock your door & your life one day. I have always told you that everybody pays the price of their action during the lifetime not afterwards and the life itself is so short. Don’t make it more agonizing. To forgive is always believed to be known as an act of divinity, my respect & love for you has given you the power & opportunity to execute that. But you have chosen the other way. It might look brighter in the beginning, but assuring yourself with hopes & dreams of a better future needs to be paved by what you have not by what you will have. ...