My not-so-young Brother

Once while crying out in pain because hot water fell on him (he was 3 or 4 that time), I was concerned for the first couple of hours and then started laughing and giggling at him, something that sounds very insensitive, but I always thought I can act like anything with my brother, younger brother. He has grown enough to be doing everything, but I still behave like an elder brother. Some avoidable big brother behaviour and loads of protective elements - is how I can describe my relationship with him.

Delhi, 2002/03

In all these years of growing up together (literally together), we have seen each other in every step of our lives. From updating each other on big purchases, especially when it comes to gadgets to what needs to be ordered for dinner, we discuss quite some stuff. At the same time, we do not discuss a hell lot of things as well, most prominently - the difficult situations (read emotions). Except for a period of 5 years when I left home till he joined me back, we have always stayed together. At 32, he can decide, think, do whatever he feels like. But people around him, be it parents or me kept on giving our unsolicited advices. Not all the advices were unsolicited but let me take this opportunity to generalize it. For far too long, we kept treating him like a kid, which is nothing but unnecessary emotion taking over practical side of us.

His life could have been slightly or vastly different, had we not influenced some of his life-decisions. He may or may not agree or even discuss all those now, but facts won't change nor should we try to cover them under the carpet. And I have seen most of us try to treat our younger siblings the same way. It is simply ingrained in us. While we like to take all our decisions ourselves yet we somehow tend to poke our nose (in the garb of thoughts/inputs) with our younger siblings. 

Being aware of all these, I did start restraining myself in the last few years. But the thought of not staying together is a tough one. This is while I myself have been away from my parents for the last 15 years.  May be it is because, he was the closest I can live without parents. Then finally the decision was made and I did not intervene. He is an adult, more mature than me, a better money manager, better at studies, more hardworking - my younger brother, did decide to live on his own. And I was finding excuses and faces to act as if I am and everything around me were normal. 

His room, clicked from mine. The distance feels
too long now.

Every morning I woke up after he left, I could not look at his room, let alone entering it. I know the more I describe about his room or his bed or this or that, it would sound like I am writing an eulogy. So let that be not the case and let me be happy about the fact that he will further carve a path, all by himself, which will be full of rights and wrongs, but whatever it is, it will be a learning for him. And maybe I will learn a few things too. About time.

Stay well brother and break a leg.