May Be...

November will be over in next few days. Rains still holding their fort with drizzles here & there. Rajnikant SMSs are doing the rounds and I am still getting late to office. Today the nation remembers ‘another’ dreadful day we gone through 2 years before in Mumbai & that crook is still getting fed in our jail. Today, one of my current company’s most ambitious and fast growing business format completes 3 years as well. Even it tops in attrition amongst the other divisions, all a part & parcel of the business. Today, also the shraadh of my grandfather. A great principled man, who ‘lived’. After repeated denials by my father regarding my ambitious business projects (I go with a new proposal & a concept, each time I go home), I decided to concentrate fully on the job front. Still that longing for home kills me inside even when I (almost) get raped inside a local train almost every morning or eat that crappy sandwich in the lunch. Home’s home, come what may. My friend lost her mother at a time when he still has miles to cover in his life. It’s not that feeling of people leaving us that makes me feel numb & introspective, but the mere feeling of being away from them & going blank in their absence. Life has become a 24 hour cycle with an objective attached to each hour and carrots you will get on completing them. We are revolving around it, may be we are going closer to the materialistic targets we have set for ourselves like buying that awesome touchscreen phone or the best car or the dream home. May be we are in a way going beyond our last generation, may be. But in between all these, I feel I am going away from my closed ones, more importantly I am losing more & more time to spend with them. But in this life, we are left with very few options, to choose any one of them seems almost impossible. Life’s one f***ing dream we chase endlessly. And it’s so insanely pleasurable!